Sunday, May 23, 2010

Guest Post: 10 things I learned from my wedding

Here to kick off Guest Post Week is Kelly and all you need to know is that she's hilarious. And awkward. And she loves pugs. And her husband. But I think she may love pugs more.

So. I'm married. For about two months now! My wedding was awesome, but not without drama. If you've ever read my blogs, you know that drama and awkwardness tend to follow me. I stressed out before the wedding about small details and things that could go wrong. Few of those things went wrong - but plenty of others did. Here are the ten things I learned from my wedding planning, in some cases things I wish I knew before, others, things I'm glad I did. I hope they can help you guys who are engaged... but also, I want to hear what the marrieds think! Anything you disagree with or could add would be welcome!

1. If you dislike someone before your wedding, you're not going to like them at the wedding. Just ignore them. My hubby's aunt wore a full on white dress to our wedding. I cringed during my MIL's impromptu speech at our reception.

The uninvited uncle who brought a date didn't bring anything else by way of a card, gift, or even a kind word. These people, who make your lives miserable on a daily basis, they aren't going to kiss your feet cause it's your wedding. They're there for free food. Ignore them, limit the time your photographer spends photographing them, and move on. No use being shocked. Prepare yourself now.

2. You are going to have no time before your wedding. Get things done early. When I tried to make plans, I pretty much procrastinated, thinking it was "too early." Prime example- the music and readings for our ceremony. I felt like making those assignments early was silly and would be laughed at. Who was laughing when I was cutting our program sheets the week of our wedding? The Kinko's man, that's who. I should have just sucked it up and figured that out months before - then I could have made the programs early instead of finishing them while my hair was being done.

3. Don't take shit from vendors. If you want something, yes, listen to their suggestions. But then decide on your own. No one should push you around. Do your research, ask around, and absolutely do not hire anyone who gives you crap. If a vendor ignores you (like my cake-topper maker did) or gives you crap, then just tell them they can give you a rim job for all you can. Then blog about them. It's fun and vengeful. Luckily I figured these things out pre-wedding and at the end of the day - my vendors were amazing. If you cannot hug a vendor, IMHO, either you need to loosen up, or you need to fire them. But then again I'm awkward and hug-friendly. Use your own discretion.

4. Tell your groom what to do. I tried to be hands-off and we were three weeks out with no tuxes and no groomsman gifts. Make your fiance a list early, and tell him to do it all. Check in monthly. I wish I had. Luckily we busted it out and got stuff done, but it could've been a disaster. And it wasn't fun showing up at Men's Wearhouse month of.

5. Eat. Ugh, nuff said. I didn't at our appetizer hour and ended up stuffing my face at the reception. Luckily I had a reception dress, but if I hadn't, my poor corset might've burst. Bring yourself snackies.

6. Give yourself at least a day between the wedding and honeymoon. I know, I know, not typical. But if you are a last minute idiot like me, you won't have time before the wedding to shop for bikinis and flip flops. We frantically shopped and packed the day after our wedding. Then we had a good night's sleep and an easy trip to the airport the next day. It's not required, but it definitely improved our situation.

7. Take pictures of EVERYTHING. Assign your camera to a family member without shaky hands who doesn't have their own camera. Make a list before the wedding of all the cute tiny elements of your wedding that you want pictures of. You don't want to go to blog about a detail, only to realize that it never got it's 15 minutes of photographic fame!

8. First looks- do them. Your flowers will only wilt more, you will only get more tired. I worried endlessly about taking pictures before taking away from our time at the ceremony. And yet, walking down the aisle was one of the most emotional moments of my life. I'm sure for some people, it's not the right choice. However, if it seems like it would work for you, but you're nervous about the ceremony being less important, don't. (Worry, that is. Don't worry.) Geez, let me just sum up my rambling with first look = convenient and special.

9. If someone/something is important to you.... have them be in your pictures. For me it was Pugs and my mom. They were in our pre-ceremony pictures. If you have a pet snail that means the world to you and you can't imagine your day without your precious snaily, then include snailypoo by all means. If it's not possible to have your loved one there for some reason, include a picture, or do something meaningful. Don't give a shit about anyone saying anything about "weird snail weddings" or "pug hair on black tuxes." That's what lint rollers are for.

10. Always wear sunscreen on your honeymoon. Seriously.

I'm still finishing my wedding recaps on my wedding blog, You can find my regular blog at as well. Don't forget to check out Blog Buddy Appreciation Day this Tuesday!


  1. #3 is especially appreciated! Nowadays everybody under the sun calls you a Bridezilla if you want to get things done your way!

  2. #1 Totally agree...we had one last minute uninvited guest (and she wore a solid white hooker dress!) UGH!
    #2 Yup, people laughed at me for doing things way 'too early' but the last weeks (and even months) before the big day were stress free and more relaxing than anyone expected I would be!
    #3 We had one vendor (cake) that kept telling us that they thought we should go with buttercream when we insited on fondant (a good tasting one). Then they wanted to charge us $1,000 extra for the cake we wanted. We ended up saying "No thanks" and going with a family friend instead.
    #4 Mr Fix It had a calendar on his fridge a good 6 months before the wedding with his to-do list. Though he didn't stick to the timeline, it did let him know what he needed to handle. And though some of it didn't get done as quickly as I would have liked, it did eventually get handled without too much stress.
    # 5 I ate a little bit throughout the day - morning til evening I was snacking. I had a little bit of appetizers but wish I had more. And then with all the guests coming up to us at dinner I barely got to eat dinner and what I did eat ended up being cold by the time I got to it! UGH!
    # 6 Our wedding was Friday night and our plane left at 11 pm on Saturday night. We had all the shopping part done and had started packing but did finish up the last minute part and stuff around the house in the 3 hours between when we said goodbye to family Saturday afternoon and when we had to leave Saturday night.
    # 7 GREAT POINT! I wish I had done this. I did have a cousin/bridesmaid who got photos of some of the details and such for me...but wish I would have assigned this to someone. Though I made it clear to my photog that I wanted lots of detail shots, I don't know if he got them ALL! We'll see this week when I get the pictures...I would also suggest having a friend not involved in the wedding follow you and/or the groom and guys around with a video camera the entire day. We did this at my sister's wedding and got some of our fave shots of the day that the videographer wasn't around for.
    # 8 A MUST in my opinion...First looks are totally the way to go...NOTHING takes away from the emotion of the walk down the aisle. It's just *different*
    # 9 Again, so important. My sister was worried about my nephew not being 'awake' enough for pics and throwing tantrums because his nap time was right when we were doing our family photos. She had her hubby bring him like an hour later so he could at least get 'some' sleep and he ended up not being in any of the photos with me and my hubby or the family. So disappointed! I would have preferred to have him screaming in photos with us than none at all :(
    # 10 So true!

    What a great post...thanks for sharing!

  3. I <3 Kelly and these last minute tips are making me feel so secure with the wedding! I'm pretty much already following these rules os its nice that Mrs. Beever and Kelly both agree they're good to stick to!!!

    ALSO EM- I can't believe you're already married. I feel like I just was reading your B-party post and here you are a MRS! Congrats hun. So happy for you :)

  4. Glad to hear what you guys have to say :) (And LOVE you guys as well!) Mrs. Beever - glad I'm no the only one with a guest who wore a hoochie white dress. KILL ME.

    I'm just super glad to hear that other people agree and commiserate. Can't wait to hear from more of you!!!!

  5. Thanks for all of the great advice – especially the sunscreen part! I plan to wear a full coat of SPF 80 on both my wedding day and during the honeymoon. :)

  6. Wish I had read this all before my wedding!