Josh and I knew we wanted some kind of massage or other spa treatment on our honeymoon. Our package came with a $250 credit and I'm aaallll about "free" stuff (I'm sure that $250 was hidden somewhere in the cost of our honeymoon.) Early in the week we headed to Red Lane Spa to check out what it had to offer.
A lovely (and tiny!) woman told us all about their spa and recommended a few services we might enjoy. We decided on something called Champagne Romance Couple's Massage or something close to that. She even threw in a complimentary body scrub. We were given a day/time (Thursday afternoon) to come in and instructed to remember our camera. This should have been my first indication that this may be rather strange.
Thursday rolled around and after lounging on the beach for a few hours (and getting *really* red) we headed to the spa. After being welcomed by the staff we were lead to private changing rooms and given bathrobes and slippers. Josh was nervous about the "fully naked" part, but I assured him it was normal and no one would see his peeps.
Everything looked perfectly normal at first glance. There was a nice soaking tub:
And a shower:
And towels with flowers:
Nice and spa-like. Our scrub was first and unfortunately for me it hurt like hell. Remember how I said I got *really* red earlier in the day? Right. Really red plus salt scrub equals ouchies. After the scrub we were told to get up and go shower. Together. Naked.
But first! We had to get off the massage table. Naked. In front of the massage ladies. We did a little turn over, wrap the towel song and dance and I'm pretty sure they didn't see anything. Not that I would have really cared necessarily, it was just kinda weird.
Ok, so we shower (together, naked) and the ladies return about 10 minutes later. It was weird but we got through it.
Next up, the massage! This was heavenly, no complaints.
But then...then they tell us to get in the tub. Together. Naked. Again, we did the towel song and dance to get off the table, but then we still needed to get in the tub. So the massage ladies helped us with that and it was SO WEIRD.
Josh went first. His masseuse held up a towel to shield him from her while he awkwardly stepped into the tub. Then it was my turn and I did the same with my masseuse. Like before I'm pretty sure they didn't see anything (when did I all of a sudden become so modest?).
Now we're in the tub. The ladies bring out a plate of fruit and 2 glasses of champagne. We start awkwardly sipping and eating while one of the girls gets our camera. The following pictures document our "tub time."
Oh, hi! Just sittin' here in a bubble bath with our champagne.
Mmm this champagne sure is tasty!
Fruit? Don't mind if I do!
Lady and the Tramp we are not.
Ok let's just kiss and get this over with.
Then they left us alone. "We'll be back in 20 minutes!" they said. This was probably the most awkward part of the whole thing. Were we supposed to...do it? Because that was NOT going to happen. Hell no. Plus I had to pee really bad. I couldn't relax and honestly just wanted the whole thing to be over at this point. But no, we chilled there for 20 minutes and I thought to myself "When I do honeymoon recaps this is going to be the BEST story to tell."
After all was said and done Josh took a few pics of me being, you guessed it, awkward in my robe.
Needless to say, it was a fairly enjoyable but incredibly uncomfortable experience. I knew I should have just got a damn manicure.
Have any of you experienced anything like this? Please tell me I'm not alone. And since we're all friends here, would you have "done it" in the tub??