Friday, July 17, 2009

All Eyez on Me

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a minority. Not in the sense of race or sexual orientation (what up to my gays, though!). No, I think I'm in the minority of people who don't mind attention. Now, this will probably come off sounding bad, but I don't know any other way to put it: I have no problem having all eyes on me. I often read posts on Weddingbee about girls who are distraught with the idea of having 400 eyes on them on their wedding day. Hell, some girls don't even like being the center of attention at their own bridal shower! I really just don't see myself having this problem. Now before you go on thinking that I must have been one of the "popular" girls in high school, I must tell you that I wasn't always this way.

When I was a kid I was extremely shy. When I tell this to people who know the present but not the past "me," they cannot believe it. But it's true. When I was a very little kid, I didn't want people looking at me, touching me, picking me up, nothing. Leave me alone, thankyouverymuch. This didn't stop at just strangers, but family members (mostly my dad) as well. As I went through school I made friends and had boyfriends, but maintained my shyness. Then suddenly, freshman year of college came. I was 4 hours from home and had no choice but to put myself out there. If I didn't, I knew I'd be miserable and lonely. I'm not sure what came over me, but suddenly I was entertaining to others. People liked me, invited me to come out with them, and I could make my way around a party by myself (after arriving with friends, let's not get too crazy now).

I have to attribute some of this to BM Despina. We lived next to each other freshman year at OU and she was always an attention-getter. When she walks into a room, people turn around. She just has this presence about her. She's exotic looking, has crazy long curly hair, and has one of the best personalities of anyone I've ever met. Being around her encouraged me to come out of my shell. I've said it 100 times and I'll say it again: I could not have survived college without her.

Although I love it, I understand that there is a difference between loving attention and NEEDING attention. If I get it, great. If not, I'm happy to take a backseat. I realize it's not all about me all of the time. Gosh, how boring would THAT be? But I'm not scared of it and I've learned to embrace it. On my wedding day, I know there will be many many sets of eyes watching me say very intimate things to BRG and watching me *gasp* KISS him. I think some people would be mortified to do that in front of not just parents, but 150 friends and family. Personally, I'm looking forward to it. Luckily, BRG is an extrovert as well, and is looking just as forward to having his time in the spotlight.

So what about you, readers? Are you an introvert or extrovert? Are you going to throw up with all eyes on you, or revel in it til the last guest leaves?

1 comment:

  1. I'm with you on this! My fiance is not excited about all of the people who will be staring at us for 8 hours, but I don't mind it at all. I did theater for years, and I'm kind of used to it I think.

    That's great that you and BRG are fine with attention...because you will get it, so might as well revel in it!