Burning River Wedding: The Ugly

When I returned to my room at the Marriott I was starving and exhausted. I scarfed down some mixed nuts provided by the hotel and kicked myself for not giving myself an OOT bag. I probably could have hunted down some food, but I was drunk and knew I had to get some sleep. Also, my cable wasn't working so I drunkenly called the front desk (trying to sound as sober as possible) to find out the problem. Apparently all of Northeast Ohio was experiencing a cable outage. Fantastic. Luckily it started working soon after that phone call.

Because of said drunkenness, I knew falling asleep wouldn't be a problem at all. "Man, I'm gonna sleep goooood toNIGHT," I thought to myself. HA! Ha ha ha ha ha WRONG. SO WRONG. Sure I FELL asleep with no problem, but staying asleep? Yeah, that was a different story.

How about I just let my tweets tell the tale (with a bit of commentary from me thrown in). Please take note of the timestamps:

Again...HA. Ha ha ha ha ha Emily you are so STUPID.

I ended up falling asleep right around midnight. I was so excited at the prospect of getting over 6 hours of sleep the night before my wedding! But then...

 I knew I was tweeting to dead air, but I had to get it out.

I tried EVERYTHING I could to fall asleep. I turned on the TV. I read from a book (My Fair Lazy, Jen Lancaster. Buy it!) I played Bejewled on my phone. I went pee (sorry, TMI). Nothing worked and as the hours passed, I knew this was bad. 

Sometime around 5:30-6:00 I fell asleep. My alarm was set for 6:45. When it went off I hit snooze a few times and ultimately woke up around 7. I got up, showered and nearly passed out/threw up while doing so. I was shaking and I was a mess. 

After I got out of the shower I called BM Bree to see if she had any food left over from her OOT bag and if she would bring that and a pop to me when she got to my room. I'm sure I sounded pathetic as I was on the verge of tears. Not long after, I tweeted this:

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Bree arrived with a granola bar and a pop a little before 8am. As the girls filtered into my room one by one, I sat in bed crying, thinking this is NOT how my wedding day was supposed to start. Oh, and it was raining.

Burning River Bride Tip #5: Wherever you stay the night before your wedding (hotel, parent's house, etc), make sure you have some food for a midnight snack. I know if I'd had a bit more food at my disposal (even a damn candy bar) I would have fared a bit better in the sleep department.

Brides: how much sleep did you get the night before your wedding? Brides-to-be: promise me you'll learn from my mistakes!!

Next Up: I suck it up and get ready.

Burning River Wedding: We Eat (Well, Some of Us)...and Drink...

In my "stuff that went wrong" post, I alluded to the fact that I had a wee bit too much to drink and not enough to eat at my rehearsal dinner. I can laugh at it now, but seriously gals (and guys) don't let this happen to you. Today's tip is going to come at the beginning of this post (and in bold) because it's just that important:


Burning River Bride Tip #4: EAT at your rehearsal dinner!!!

I got so caught up in talking and entertaining (I kind of love being the center of attention) that I kept refilling my wine glass and hardly sat down to eat a damn thing. I insisted that I wasn't hungry (probably nerves) but luckily my MIL forced a few bites of chicken parmesan, potatoes and green beans on me.

Due to my drunkenness, I decided to grab Tyrone for one of our typical bathroom photoshoots. On a similar note, we use the same bathroom...got a problem with that?

There are more...but I'll spare you.

While we were busy vamping it up in the bathroom, the rest of our group was busy mingling and getting to know one another:

I told all of our rehearsal dinner guests that we would leave some time for anyone interested to take the floor and give a speech/toast. I limited the wedding day toasts to Josh's Best Man, and 2 of my BMs (Claire and my SIL Bree), but I wanted to give anyone else an opportunity to talk as well. This worked out so well!!

Josh's parents kicked things off with an incredibly emotional and heartfelt (with a few good-natured jabs thrown in) toast. I don't remember what was said probably because I was crying pretty hard. This is a great picture of the toast:

Love all of our expressions: Brian is saying something smart-ass-y, Nancy is loving it, my mom is shocked, I'm giving Brian my "I'm warning you" look, and Josh is tickled to death. Such a good representation of the family.

*Photo courtesy of BM Claire*

BM Nikki and GM Mike also said a few words that made all of us laugh and of course, cry. I was so happy that our family and friends spoke. It was probably the highlight of our rehearsal for me. 

Since my the tip at the beginning of this post was fairly doom and gloom, here is another one: Try to carve out some time during your rehearsal for speeches/toasts. People might feel more comfortable speaking in front of a smaller, more intimate crowd.

Not only are our ceremony space and rehearsal dinner restaurant housed in the same building, but there is also super-fun piano bar in it! Have you ever heard of Howl at the Moon? It's a dueling piano/sing-a-long bar with locations throughout the country. After dinner, we headed here for some more drinks and a bunch of singing. Some family that didn't attend the RD came and it was a blast! I'll let the photos do the talking:

L-R: Josh's Florida cousins Sarah and Steph, me, SIL Bree

 Josh got on stage and sang "Ice, Ice Baby." He knows every.single.word.

The performers learned that I was a bride-to-be and serenaded me with some raunchy song. 

Also, why the EFF am I drinking a Corona?!?! Some one should have cut me off by then!

*Picture courtesy of BM Nikki*

By 11ish it was time to go...for me and my mom, at least. The rest of the party stayed out til lord only knows when. Josh met some famous baseball team manager (Dusty Baker of the Cincinnati Reds...anyone know who that is?) I heard that SIL Bree gave her brother a stern talking to around 1am. Thanks for having my back, gal!

So clearly our rehearsal dinner wasn't a low-key affair. That's just not how we roll. Tell me about yours or your plans for it!

Next up: wake up in the mornin' feelin' like...Ke$ha.

Guest Post: 10 things I learned from my wedding

Here to kick off Guest Post Week is Kelly and all you need to know is that she's hilarious. And awkward. And she loves pugs. And her husband. But I think she may love pugs more.

So. I'm married. For about two months now! My wedding was awesome, but not without drama. If you've ever read my blogs, you know that drama and awkwardness tend to follow me. I stressed out before the wedding about small details and things that could go wrong. Few of those things went wrong - but plenty of others did. Here are the ten things I learned from my wedding planning, in some cases things I wish I knew before, others, things I'm glad I did. I hope they can help you guys who are engaged... but also, I want to hear what the marrieds think! Anything you disagree with or could add would be welcome!

1. If you dislike someone before your wedding, you're not going to like them at the wedding. Just ignore them. My hubby's aunt wore a full on white dress to our wedding. I cringed during my MIL's impromptu speech at our reception.

The uninvited uncle who brought a date didn't bring anything else by way of a card, gift, or even a kind word. These people, who make your lives miserable on a daily basis, they aren't going to kiss your feet cause it's your wedding. They're there for free food. Ignore them, limit the time your photographer spends photographing them, and move on. No use being shocked. Prepare yourself now.

2. You are going to have no time before your wedding. Get things done early. When I tried to make plans, I pretty much procrastinated, thinking it was "too early." Prime example- the music and readings for our ceremony. I felt like making those assignments early was silly and would be laughed at. Who was laughing when I was cutting our program sheets the week of our wedding? The Kinko's man, that's who. I should have just sucked it up and figured that out months before - then I could have made the programs early instead of finishing them while my hair was being done.

3. Don't take shit from vendors. If you want something, yes, listen to their suggestions. But then decide on your own. No one should push you around. Do your research, ask around, and absolutely do not hire anyone who gives you crap. If a vendor ignores you (like my cake-topper maker did) or gives you crap, then just tell them they can give you a rim job for all you can. Then blog about them. It's fun and vengeful. Luckily I figured these things out pre-wedding and at the end of the day - my vendors were amazing. If you cannot hug a vendor, IMHO, either you need to loosen up, or you need to fire them. But then again I'm awkward and hug-friendly. Use your own discretion.

4. Tell your groom what to do. I tried to be hands-off and we were three weeks out with no tuxes and no groomsman gifts. Make your fiance a list early, and tell him to do it all. Check in monthly. I wish I had. Luckily we busted it out and got stuff done, but it could've been a disaster. And it wasn't fun showing up at Men's Wearhouse month of.

5. Eat. Ugh, nuff said. I didn't at our appetizer hour and ended up stuffing my face at the reception. Luckily I had a reception dress, but if I hadn't, my poor corset might've burst. Bring yourself snackies.

  
6. Give yourself at least a day between the wedding and honeymoon. I know, I know, not typical. But if you are a last minute idiot like me, you won't have time before the wedding to shop for bikinis and flip flops. We frantically shopped and packed the day after our wedding. Then we had a good night's sleep and an easy trip to the airport the next day. It's not required, but it definitely improved our situation.

7. Take pictures of EVERYTHING. Assign your camera to a family member without shaky hands who doesn't have their own camera. Make a list before the wedding of all the cute tiny elements of your wedding that you want pictures of. You don't want to go to blog about a detail, only to realize that it never got it's 15 minutes of photographic fame!

8. First looks- do them. Your flowers will only wilt more, you will only get more tired. I worried endlessly about taking pictures before taking away from our time at the ceremony. And yet, walking down the aisle was one of the most emotional moments of my life. I'm sure for some people, it's not the right choice. However, if it seems like it would work for you, but you're nervous about the ceremony being less important, don't. (Worry, that is. Don't worry.) Geez, let me just sum up my rambling with first look = convenient and special.

9. If someone/something is important to you.... have them be in your pictures. For me it was Pugs and my mom. They were in our pre-ceremony pictures. If you have a pet snail that means the world to you and you can't imagine your day without your precious snaily, then include snailypoo by all means. If it's not possible to have your loved one there for some reason, include a picture, or do something meaningful. Don't give a shit about anyone saying anything about "weird snail weddings" or "pug hair on black tuxes." That's what lint rollers are for.

10. Always wear sunscreen on your honeymoon. Seriously.

I'm still finishing my wedding recaps on my wedding blog, http://misspug.blogspot.com. You can find my regular blog at http://kjpugs.wordpress.com as well. Don't forget to check out Blog Buddy Appreciation Day this Tuesday!