Showing posts with label Emotional. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emotional. Show all posts

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Burning River Wedding: Stressful Family Fomals

Family portraits made me really anxious. Having everyone together, posing for pictures, on time, dressed...all of it just seemed like a recipe for disaster. I timed things very specifically and gave every player instructions for when they were to arrive. The pessimist in me knew something would go awry.

We arrived at the site where we were to take family formals and immediately my MIL told me Josh's grandma would not be joining us for photos. To be honest, this didn't really surprise me, but it didn't help with my nerves. I quickly moved on and took pictures with Josh's wonderful family.

And Josh got some really cute pictures with his sister.

Next we moved on to pictures with my dad and brother/sisters. I struggled with whether to put these pictures up and ultimately decided against it. This particular part of the day was difficult. Here is one really cute picture that I can show.

My adorable little brother/ring bearer. He is, in a word, delightful. 
Just the most pleasant little boy in the world.

My dad, probably trying to be funny, made the whole thing uncomfortable for me. At one point (in the MIDDLE of taking pictures) he said in reference to the photographers, "Where is their tripod?" Trying to be as patient as possible, I calmly said, "They don't work with one, Dad. They don't need it." Could he leave it alone? No. "Wow. Well, they must have really steady hands. Hope they're good."

I'm sure you can imagine my, um, displeasure with this comment. I could go into a really long tirade, but out of respect for my family, I'll refrain. By the end of pictures with my dad, brothers, and sisters, I was SO done. But we still had to take pictures with my mom and grandma.

The look on my face says it all. "I'm f*cking OVER this."
Check out my mom's bling! 
It's a mega-pricey cuff that she borrowed on the cheap from the website Rent the Runway.
Oh, Grandma. Why are you holding my stomach as if I'm with child?

These are, unfortunately, my least favorite pictures of the day. I felt incredibly rushed, irritated, and generally unhappy during the 45 minutes we took these (and I know it shows on my face.) Also, I made a very specific list of photos that we needed to take and I don't feel like we followed it at all. I honestly blame myself for this. My emotions got the best of me and as soon as I felt like we needed to be done, I ended things.

Ted and Rachel asked Josh and I to post for one final picture, and I reluctantly obliged.

I can literally hear myself saying, "Are we done now?"
Also, wtf is going on with my hunchback? 
And with that, we headed inside to prepare for the ceremony.

Burning River Bride Tip: People are probably going to disappoint you on your wedding day. Handle it with as much grace as possible. No one likes a bratty bride. I tried my hardest to put on a damn happy face and soldier through everything that was happening. Although my discomfort was probably sensed by some people, I hope I succeeded in handling it to the best of my ability.

How did your family formals go? If you're still planning, what is your strategy for making them go as smooth as possible?

As always, all photos by the saints of Linczak Photography.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Burning River Wedding: First Look

Hi. If you look out your window I do believe you will see pigs flying. Also, I'm hearing Hell is in the middle of a serious ice storm.

Yes friends, I'm writing a wedding recap. I have no excuse for my unplanned hiatus, only that my last recap bored me to tears and I think I needed a break from my wedding. BUT! I'm back. And I promise not to leave again. So...onward with the Burning River Recaps!

The emotions I felt in the minutes leading up to our first look were...intense. Rachel and I left the hotel room a few minutes before noon (again, totally on schedule. You have no idea how happy I am to gloat about that.) She gave me a quick overview of how the first look would go down, and of course, all I heard was "laksjdfiaw ejriwjfasjdflks jdfsj dfm." I was SO nervous that she had to explain it to me about 3 times.

Ted was already in place with Josh (benefit of 2 shooters) outside of the hotel. Luckily the rain had ended (for NOW) so we were set for some beautiful natural light pictures. Rachel and I walked outside and there he stood, about 50 yards away.

Cue ridiculous nerves. I kept asking Rachel, "So I just...start walking? Like, without you? But, where are you going to be? You mean I have to go alone?" I may have thrown up. I can't really remember. But off I went!

At this point I had a brilliant idea. First, play to the camera. I'm a ham in every sense of the word so I figured might as well play this one up. Next, GRAB HIS BUTT! I am *always* grabbing Josh's ass. I figured this would be a really cute and very "me" way of doing things.

I can't remember what was said, but I'm pretty sure I asked him if he liked my dress about 50 times. It KILLED me not to show it to him for 15 damn months, so I really hoped he would like it. I think he approved.

Surprisingly, there weren't many tears during the first look. I think I teared up a bit, but for me, the ceremony was 1000% more emotional. Mostly I just wanted to tell Josh about my hellacious night/morning and catch up with what he'd been doing since I left him at Howl at the Moon. It was nice to chat just the two of us before the insanity continued.
We met back up with Ted and Rachel to take a few bride and groom portraits outside. I could probably show you about 15 photos, but I'll refrain and only show you the best of the best.

And my literal absolute fave (probably top 10 of the day):

Thank you, Ted and Rachel, for making me so hot. We then headed inside for a few more quick shots. I'll try to limit these, too. Sorry it's just so hard!

We refer to these as the Green Devils. I'll explain later.

I mean, do we love the back of my dress, or do we LOVE the back of my dress?

What I love so much about Ted and Rachel is that they really know how to pose couples (and bridal parties, which you'll see in a bit.) I don't feel like any of our pictures are cheesy or forced (except some of the family formals which I'll explain when the time comes.) 

With the bridal party already in the limo and these photos out of the way, we were off to our first location with everyone in tow!

Burning River Bride Tip: Do a damn first look. Trust me, just do it. We mostly did it for logistical reasons, but I swear to you it did not take away one BIT of emotion from the ceremony. If anything, it added emotion. I can't explain it, but I think others who've done a first look probably understand what I'm trying to convey.
Are you doing a first look? If you're already married, did you do one? Why/why not?

All photos by Linczak Photography.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Burning River Wedding: Hodge-Podge of Events

I could tell Rachel was chomping at the bit to take pictures of me all dressed up. Right after I had everything on we got to work. Since you guys are going to get REAL sick of seeing my silly mug, I'll try to limit these to my absolute faves.

We started out against the wall,

then moved our way to the couch,

The only thing I see when I look at this picture are my pointy shoulders.

and finally to the window where we took some of my favorite shots of the day.

At some point one of the groomsmen (Tyrone, maybe?) brought me a gift from Josh. All together now: aaawwww :)

So of course I got all weepy reading his card (in which he finally revealed our honeymoon destination!)

but then got all giddy when I saw a little blue box!

Ok now, full disclosure, I basically picked out this gift. I told him I'd *really* like a gold necklace from Tiffany's and gave him about 5 to choose from (making a note next to my favorite.) This may not be the most conventional way of doing things, but I know Josh wanted to get me something I really loved and well, he can sometimes be a bit clueless when it comes to things like that. 

You can't really see it, but you get the idea.

Sometime while we were getting ready our flowers came. Let's just say I was less than enthused with how our bouquets turned out. They're pretty, don't get me wrong. But not quite what I pictured in my mind. Here are a few non-pro pics that capture them nicely.

Photo courtesy of BM Nikki

Perfectly nice (and damn expensive) bouquet, I guess. What threw me off were the size of the hosta leaves. I knew they would be there, I guess I just had no idea how overwhelming they would look (to me, at least.)

 Photo courtesy of BM Nikki

Ok, these? Were not at ALL what I expected them to be. Again, they're perfectly fine, but not what was described to me and not what I envisioned. I thought I was getting a big mound of green hydrangea with a few small orchids thrown in. What I received were a bouquet of orchids with a few stalks of hydrangea. I also didn't really like those leaves, but whatever.

Basically the bouquets were fine, beautiful even, just were not what I expected. Maybe there was a miscommunication along the way or I misunderstood our florists vision. I should have asked for a bouquet mock-up or a more thorough description. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, right? Luckily, the rest of our flowers were RIDICULOUS in the best way possible.

Burning River Bride Tip: Even if you don't think you care about certain things, make sure you at least double check to make sure you know what you're getting. I was perfectly happy to give creative license to our florist, but I did give him ideas of what I wanted. It was my fault that I didn't ask him more specific questions relating to the design of our bouquets.

Next Up: What have those boys been up to?

All photos, unless otherwise noted, are courtesy of Linczak Photography.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Burning River Wedding: The Ugly

When I returned to my room at the Marriott I was starving and exhausted. I scarfed down some mixed nuts provided by the hotel and kicked myself for not giving myself an OOT bag. I probably could have hunted down some food, but I was drunk and knew I had to get some sleep. Also, my cable wasn't working so I drunkenly called the front desk (trying to sound as sober as possible) to find out the problem. Apparently all of Northeast Ohio was experiencing a cable outage. Fantastic. Luckily it started working soon after that phone call.

Because of said drunkenness, I knew falling asleep wouldn't be a problem at all. "Man, I'm gonna sleep goooood toNIGHT," I thought to myself. HA! Ha ha ha ha ha WRONG. SO WRONG. Sure I FELL asleep with no problem, but staying asleep? Yeah, that was a different story.

How about I just let my tweets tell the tale (with a bit of commentary from me thrown in). Please take note of the timestamps:

Again...HA. Ha ha ha ha ha Emily you are so STUPID.

I ended up falling asleep right around midnight. I was so excited at the prospect of getting over 6 hours of sleep the night before my wedding! But then...

 I knew I was tweeting to dead air, but I had to get it out.

I tried EVERYTHING I could to fall asleep. I turned on the TV. I read from a book (My Fair Lazy, Jen Lancaster. Buy it!) I played Bejewled on my phone. I went pee (sorry, TMI). Nothing worked and as the hours passed, I knew this was bad. 

Sometime around 5:30-6:00 I fell asleep. My alarm was set for 6:45. When it went off I hit snooze a few times and ultimately woke up around 7. I got up, showered and nearly passed out/threw up while doing so. I was shaking and I was a mess. 

After I got out of the shower I called BM Bree to see if she had any food left over from her OOT bag and if she would bring that and a pop to me when she got to my room. I'm sure I sounded pathetic as I was on the verge of tears. Not long after, I tweeted this:

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Bree arrived with a granola bar and a pop a little before 8am. As the girls filtered into my room one by one, I sat in bed crying, thinking this is NOT how my wedding day was supposed to start. Oh, and it was raining.

Burning River Bride Tip #5: Wherever you stay the night before your wedding (hotel, parent's house, etc), make sure you have some food for a midnight snack. I know if I'd had a bit more food at my disposal (even a damn candy bar) I would have fared a bit better in the sleep department.

Brides: how much sleep did you get the night before your wedding? Brides-to-be: promise me you'll learn from my mistakes!!

Next Up: I suck it up and get ready.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Burning River Wedding: Not All Rainbows and Butterflies

We've been married for almost 3 months and I'm desperately trying to hold on to every memory of our wedding weekend. But as each day passes, little details escape me. I almost wish I had "taken notes" during our honeymoon whenever we talked about the day. Yes, we have the photographs to tell a story, but our photographers are human and couldn't capture every little thing.

Was the day "perfect"? On the surface, yes, it actually was. I know how incredibly lucky I am to be able to say that. However, looking back there are definitely disappointments, some bigger than others, that are not necessarily surface-level.

Don't get me wrong, I *loved* our wedding. I'm incredibly grateful for everyone who made the day possible. We were surrounded by love, happiness, laughter, family, friends, music, booze and food and at the end of the day I married the love of my life.  Really, that's what matters most. If you told me I could go back and relive my wedding day all over again but couldn't change anything, I still absolutely would.

But...there's always a but.

I know I usually keep things fairly "light" around here, however in the interest of full-disclosure I feel that honesty and openness are important in this circumstance.

Because I don't want this to turn into a novel, I'm going to list the "disappointments" but save the full stories for the recaps. Gotta keep a bit of suspense, right? So here we go:

1. I drank way too much and ate way too little at the rehearsal dinner, resulting in zero sleep and feeling like shit the morning of my wedding.

2. I think some of my BMs were unhappy w/ their hair :(

3. My flowers (my bouquet and BM bouquets) were...not exactly what I expected.

4. Some members of the wedding party (read: the boys) didn't really "get it" when it came to taking pictures.

5. We didn't follow the list I put together for family formals. Please note: I do not blame our photographers for this, I blame myself.

6. My dad...for so many reasons.

7. Most of the wedding party didn't smile while walking down the aisle and this is reflected in the pictures.

8. My mom also did not smile while walking down the aisle and again, you see this in pictures. (Was no one happy?)

9. Guests weren't asked to rise before I walked down the aisle. I know that sounds so ridiculous, but it's something you always see and I was just confused as to why it didn't happen.

10. I forgot my Spanx. Worst. Mistake. Ever.

11. Our cake was wrong.

12. Our shuttle majorly effed up at the end of the night.

13. A very important family member left in the middle of dinner because his significant other (note: not wife or fiance...not even sure if girlfriend is the correct term) felt uncomfortable due to her religious beliefs.

14. I wish there were a bit more "behind the scenes" pictures from throughout the day. Pictures of us in the limo or our interactions between "posed" shots. A few more photojournalistic pictures would have been nice (please note: I LOVE our photographers and this is not a strike against them at all.)

I write this post not to be a Debbie Downer about my wedding, but to be completely honest with my readers, brides who are planning their wedding, and brides who may have the same feelings and want to know they're not alone. Things happen, people disappoint...that's life, welcome. And it's OK to be disappointed, it means you're human and imperfect, just like the rest of us.

Next up: I get back on the recap train and we rehearse!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

An update

June 11 was the last time I posted. Life since then has been crazy. Let's take a look, shall we?

June 11-13: Spend the weekend with my bff (and BM) Claire doing things for her upcoming wedding.
June 13: Fly out to Mountain View, CA for Google training.
June 14-18: Google training; did the best out of our 17 person training group (pretty proud of myself for that one); thought I would have a ton of time to catch up on blogging but met awesome people and hung out with them every night after training.
June 19: Fly back to DC
June 20: Catch up on sleep
June 21: Begin first week out in the field; photograph businesses; pitch other businesses this awesome service; deal with some of the rudest individuals I've ever encountered; sweat my mother-effing balls off in the DC heat; hardly have any time to spend with my husband let alone live a normal life.
June 24: Have a mild job-induced meltdown; unsure if I can keep this up for 6 months; have Josh take a pic of me all dressed up in my Google polo and gear:

Laugh it up

June 25: Survived my first week! (barely)
Weekend: Amazing and intoxicating! (literally)
June 28: Week two! I can do this!
June 30: Have a major job-induced meltdown; can't stop crying; work for 2 hours then take the rest of the day off; decide I definitely cannot do this for 6 months; send in my "I quit" email (resignation sounds too formal); feel immediate sense of relief coupled with intense sense of failure.
4 day holiday weekend: Much needed, much enjoyed.

So, I quit the job with Google. Believe me when I say I did NOT want to do that. I'm not a quitter. But at the same time, I was incredibly unhappy and it was starting to affect my marriage and my sanity. Every night I would come home exhausted, cranky, and a gross sweaty mess. Then I'd have to do more work to prepare for the next day. It would be one thing if I was making a ton of money or enjoyed what I did...but neither of those things were the case.

After this week (I agreed to work 3 days this week) I'll be back on the job hunt. I need a real job. I need a real job doing what I really want to do.

In between job hunting I'm hoping to catch up on blogging, start those damn recaps, figure out what direction to take this blog, enjoy my new city, enjoy my husband, put my apartment together (I've been here for over a month and it's still a mess), and basically start my life as a married woman in a new city.

Thanks for sticking around. I definitely miss my readers, writing, comments (they're like crack, ya know), reading other blogs, etc. I promise not to be so MIA from now on. And I promise my next post will channel Kelly Killoren Bensimon and be full of rainbows and unicorns :)

Friday, May 14, 2010

And I just can't hide it!

Is it normal to be *THIS EFFING EXCITED* a week before your wedding?

Because you guys....I'M REALLY REALLY EXCITED!!!!

Ok, I just had to get that out.

I think I'm supposed to be stressed and worried and anxious, and people are supposed to ask in hushed tones "Emily, honey, how are you doing? Are you ok?" But I'm honestly really good! Maybe under a bit of pressure to make sure I've crossed all of my Ts and dotted all of my Is, but for the most part I'm a happy bride.

Mind you, this could all change at the drop of a hat (or the drop of my wedding dress or something really breakable and expensive). Let's just hope that doesn't happen.

I have lots of things to show you so hopefully I'll get a bunch of posts written and scheduled this weekend so I don't go completely MIA next week.

One more thing: I love you guys SO MUCH! All of my blog friends and my Twitter friends and my real life friends who read this....I just love you all so very very much and I'm so thankful to have this outlet. Oh, and that's just a taste of the wedding day post I have brewing. I plan on making each and every one of you cry (tears of joy, course).

Do you guys think this is just the calm before the storm and next week I'll be all "WAAAAAHHHHH CRAZY BRIDE"?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Really, USPS?

In my last post about our invitations I touched on my frustration with the wrap-around address labels.

Hand-writing addresses was really never an option for me. I have terrible handwriting and didn't want to pay a calligrapher. Plus, wrap-around labels just look so fun!

After finding labels (thanks Stacey! She did a tutorial at my request!), working on them for a good 6 hours, getting them *just* right, painstakingly printing them, and finally affixing them to our beautiful envelopes, I was over-the-moon excited to mail them. People would see them and love them and tell me what a fanTAStic job I did (I like praise). 

Then...I went to the post office and proceeded to have a meltdown. I think a review of my tweets from that day best tell the story. (Warning: If offensive language offends skip this part.) Observe:

This was not what I wanted to hear. The not-so-nice post office lady told me, and I quote "Well, we'll mail them but you're GOING to get 50% of them sent back to you." Oh REALLY? She also basically suggested I redo them. Hahaha good one, post office lady bitch, I'll get RIGHT on that.

Apparently because the recipient's address and the return address were at the same level the machine would get confused and might read the return address as the recipient address. Really. Because I always thought that the envelope gets delivered to the address on the side of the STAMP. Ok...I can't even talk about this anymore because it makes me so mad.

So I walked out of there with my invitations and proceeded to hyperventilate and tweet at the same time. It's as skill I've honed over the past year or so. A few of my Twitter friends, namely these three girls, help talk me off the ledge. Seriously, thank god for Twitter.

When I got home, I did what any internet-savvy bride would do: I Googled the crap out of wrap-around labels. My goal was to prove the post office wrong. Everything I read from brides said that they had no problems. HA! Victory was mine. (I love being right.)

All that was left to do was stamp and send! I'm happy to report that ZERO invitations have been sent to the incorrect address. So SUCK IT, United States Postal Service. Maybe you should train your employees to give correct information and not make brides CRY. (Yep...pulling the "bride card.")

Have you had any wedding-related meltdowns? Please say yes so I know I'm not completely crazy.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The uncomfortable side of wedding planning

When I go to weddings I usually bawl at the Father/Daughter dance. Not just shed a tear, oh no, I SOB. The ugly cry face comes out in full force and I usually down whatever alcoholic beverage I have near me. So let's just say the one part of my wedding that I'm decidedly NOT looking forward to is the Father/Daughter dance.

My lukewarm relationship with my dad is well-documented on this blog, but in case you're new let me give you the low down. My dad is present in my life but I don't see him very much. I have some deep-seeded issues with him that someday I'll hopefully work out, but right now our relationship is not the "typical" father/daughter relationship. I actually really like my dad and enjoy his company, but I just can't get past a lot of feelings I have toward him. Anyway, I'm anxious about dancing with him at my wedding.

In order to cut out some of the awkwardness we've decided to combine the Father/Daughter and Mother/Son dances. I just cannot be out there with him by myself. Luckily Josh's mom is completely understanding, something I will forever be grateful for (she's a saint, that woman).

Due to the somewhat unusual nature of our relationship, the "typical" F/D dance songs just are not going to cut it. No "Butterfly Kisses" or "I Loved Her First" or anything like that. Puke.

Honestly, there needs to be a handbook about the uncomfortable side of weddings. Anyway, there's really only one song I don't hate that would work for this dance. Luckily, it's by one of my favorite groups, Rascal Flatts (yep, I'm a country music lovin' city girl. Don't judge.)

The only thing is it's kind of long. Four minutes is a long damn time and I *know* I will be a hot mother effing MESS. But right now it's sort of my only option. However...this is where you fabulous ladies come in!

What song are you and your dad dancing to? I'd love any recommendations for songs that might fit my situation. I'll love you forever?

Also, is there any part of the wedding day you're not looking forward to? Or am I on an island here?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Gimme a break

*I've had this post half-written since Monday but I just haven't been able to post it. I finally feel like I can.

I really wanted to log in to Blogger today and write a post about how awesome our tasting went. And it did go awesomely. Great food, lots of laughs (and lots of wine.) But there is something else on my mind that I have to talk about instead.

Why is it that brides are not allowed to make mistakes?

Growing up we're told that it's OK to make mistakes. That it's a part of life that should be embraced because mistakes teach you lessons. But once you have that ring on your finger and are declared "Bride", God forbid you do something wrong.

For most of us, this is our first time doing this (raises hand.) Some of us have probably only been to a handful of weddings (raises arm and hand.) I'd even be willing to bet that a good number of us have never been a bridesmaid (raises both arms and hands.) Yet we're expected to get everything right. And when we don't (notice I said "when" not "if" because inevitably we *will* get something wrong) we're called out and made to feel like shit.

At least that's my experience.

And if I can get real for a hot second, let me just say I think it's bullshit.

So from now on I'm pledging to stop feeling guilty when I make a mistake while planning my wedding. Own up to it? Yes. Apologize? Yes, when necessary. But I'm not going to feel bad. Because guess what? I really don't know what the hell I'm doing. I can read all the blogs I want, I can ask the advice of any number of brides who've gone before me, but I'm navigating unknown territory, here. Go give me, give US, a damn break.

Anyone else feel like this? Please tell me I'm not alone.

Friday, January 22, 2010

It just got real

I'm getting married in 4 months. From today. FOUR MONTHS! And I think it *just* hit me. Like...right now. Because I definitely just had a moment. A moment during which I cried and couldn't stop. A moment I think could be repeated at the drop of a hat.

I'm not even sure how I feel right now, but if I had to guess I'd say I'm pretty damn excited. We've been engaged for almost 19 months. That is a long damn time. So to finally be in the "home stretch", so to speak, is really exciting. I'm not nervous or worried or anxious (ask me at the 2 or 1 month mark, though, and I might have a different answer), I'm just so incredibly happy. These are happy tears that are streaming down my face :)

We're having our tasting tomorrow night at Windows on the River. All of our parents will be in attendance and I'm actually doing pretty well. (If you're new to my blog, click here to get an idea of what I'm talking about.) I'm excited to taste and decide the food we'll serve our guests. I've heard nothing but great things about the food at our venue and that makes me very happy. Do you think if I take pictures of the food I'll blow my cover? (Only my mom knows I blog.)

Well, this post certainly has been a bit all over the place. I was going to write a progress report of sorts or something, but I think I'm going to leave that for another day.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend :) Any fun plans, wedding related or not?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Head Explosion *Update*

So I suppose I owe you gals (and guys?) an update on the much-anticipated meeting of the in-laws. If you're a new follower, please read up on my anxiety. It's quite humorous now that I think about it. Anyway, I'm very happy to report that everything went extremely well! It was a little awkward and there were a few cringe-inducing moments, but overall I was very pleased.

Normally with stuff like this people sometimes say "I don't even know what I was worried about!" With me, that is not the case. From what I've gone though with my dad I absolutely had a right to worry about this meeting. Knowing my dad, things could have gone either way. FMIL said it best. The day after the meeting she told us, "I didn't expect it to go *bad*, necessarily, but I didn't expect it to go that well." My thoughts exactly!

The next time both sets of parents will all be together is for our tasting in January. And by "all" I mean both of Josh's parents and both of my parents. As in my mom AND my dad. Together. At the same place. At the same time. In close proximity. Do I sense another head explosion on the horizon? It's quite possible...

Monday, November 9, 2009


Riddle me this, dear readers: why do friends/family/random strangers feel the need to inject their opinions into MY relationship/wedding plans/impending marriage? Is it because they're insecure about their own relationship? Just trying to be funny? Figuring out a good ice-breaker? Because I can't for the life of me figure it out.

Whether it's shouts of "Don't do it!" or the more stuble suggestion of "Maybe you should wait just a few more years", it's kind of insulting. I've been with this man for nearly four years. Do they not think that I've given this whole "marriage thing" some thought? Or is it because I'm young they think I couldn't possibly have found some one I want to spend the rest of my life with? No, I know what it is. It's that they have so much more life experience than me (probably due to their age) and feel that they can speak on these things with a greater level of intelligence than me. *That* must be it. Please, enlighten me.

If I were 26 or 27 I doubt anyone would blink an eye. If I were in my mid-30s and had been with some one for 4 years people would start to gossip about why we waited so long.

I've found the person I want to marry, have children with, and grow old with. How dare some one try to discourage that. Do people really feel that it is their responsibility to steer me away from marriage?

Have you encountered any Negative Nancys during your wedding planning?

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Kaboom! Crash! Splat!

Hear that? It's the sound of my head exploding while I have a mini nervous breakdown and throw myself off a cliff. Why the dramatics?

I just set a date for Josh's parents to meet my dad.


"Hold on a sec, Em," you may be asking. "Haven't you and Josh been together for almost 4 years?" Yes, yes we have. Josh has met my dad and his parents have met my mom, but I've been putting off this particular meeting for a long, long time. And I'm seriously, ridiculously really really nervous. For real.

My dad and I get along fine. We're actually pretty similar and I know I get my outgoing personality (along with my long limbs) from him. But our relationship has always been less-than-ideal. You see, my dad has a lot of children. I have 2 half sisters and 4 half brothers. The custody agreement between him and my mom stated that I had to see him two times a week, Wednesdays and Sundays. With so little time to see him and so many other children (and activities of said children) to manage, our relationship never really took off the ground. I struggle with who is to blame for this, but is it really a 10-year-old's responsibility to try to foster a relationship with her father? Therapy someday might give me an answer.

Anyway, I could write much much MUCH more on my relationship with my dad, and maybe I will in a future post, but that is our relationship in a (very small) nutshell. The point of this rambling is that I'm really nervous and I can't figure out exactly why. Part of it stems from the fact that I haven't exactly painted my father in the most positive light when describing him to Josh's parents. My dad has made some very poor life choices and hurt me more times than I'd like to count. I'm not one to hold in my emotions and I consider myself an open book, so yes, I've called him every name in the book while retelling certain stories about him. That's bad, I know. Hopefully they go into this with open minds and open hearts. I'll just be happy to get this over with.

I'll give you a full report next week. That is, if my head doesn't actually explode, first.

How did things go when your parents met the future in-laws? Also, any words of encouragement? I really need them...

Ps, I'm starting this new thing where I bold certain sentences in my posts. Some of my favorite bloggers do it so I figured I'd give it a shot!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Mushy and gushy

As I journey through my twenties I realize that I've become increasingly emotional. Maybe it's because I've become more aware of my emotions, I don't know. I tear up at commercials, silly reality TV shows, and everything in between. Don't even get me started on those ASPCA commercials.

Ever since seeing our e-pics a few days ago I've been on the verge of tears every time some one makes a comment about them. The amount of love surrounding us and this wedding is astonishing. Ugh I could cry right now!

My family isn't overly (or overtly for that matter) emotional, so I didn't grow up with constant hugs and fuzzy feelings. I knew I was loved, I always told my mom that I loved her and I always got a goodnight kiss, but there just wasn't a lot of mushy stuff. As I've grown older, and especially as my relationship with Josh has grown, I've learned that it's OK to express my emotions. Josh's family is MUCH more touchy-feely and emotional. They always greet me with a hug and a kiss. They're not afraid to cry when the mood strikes. It's a nice change of pace.

I guess this is all to say, to everyone on here who commented, to my friends/family to commented and emailed, and to everyone who said something to me in person, Thank You. Your kind words now and throughout this entire process so far have meant more to me than you'll ever know.

Is anyone else feeling especially mushy throughout your planning or is it just me?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Patience is a Virtue?

Um yeah, that's crap. I'm a pretty patient person but I'm getting really antsy waiting for our e-pics. I know it takes a lot of time to edit the pictures and make them perfect. I know they have weddings and other e-sessions and other pictures and blogs to write and oh, a life of their own to life. But...I want them noooowwww!! Yes, I'm whining. And being a brat. I know. But I can't help it! I emailed them a few days ago and they assured me that the pictures were coming along beautifully and that they should be ready in a few days. Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks since our e-shoot. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get an email from them tomorrow. And Ted and Rachel if you're reading this, I love you guys and can't wait to see our pictures!!